Remember that the fantasy is far kinder and nicer than the reality, DannyBoy.
First step is to submit to self-enforced chastity. Don’t forget you’re work is immeasurably more important than your fagasm. Real Men may enjoy an orgasms whenever and however they wish. You, however, deserve rare and deeply humiliating fagasms which only serve as reinforcement of your inferiority beneath SuperiorStraight White Men. They will grant permission to squirt only when it is aligned with their training of your weak mind.
So, until then, get yourself locked and stick to being productive. You need to train yourself first to ever be proven worthy of personal training by a Real Man.