New fag

Hello Sirs and bros. I am new here on the side, and I almost new with this topic – faggot. I am gay, but without many sexual contacts. Half of my life was not succesful, and I always tried to be someone I never could be. I tried to be selfemplyed for some years and end up with a bunch of debts. I live alone for some years now, but found a job before 2 years, so I have my living from this now.

Before 6 month or so, I had chat contact with a Sir from US, and he called me faggot and sscum, that was the first time I thought about that word. Actually I thought, faggots are just these sissy gays, the guys who are not very masucline. I am masculine, but I would say, I am inferior. And sometimes when I wanked, these words was coming back in mind – faggot.

Some times later, I found these faggots exposed postings on tublr, and was very excited about that. Man, sure, I have not much sexual experience, but that was like to discover something that touch the core. And after the next few weeks I found this website.

When I was high last time, I read the free FAQs, and the posting of one of the Sirs here, and the two anserws of the fags, and yes – I think it is the right way.

I feel – I am a loser. My vita shows me that clearly. I think, to be gay is not right and yes, I think there should be a register where they all registered. It is not right to feel proud. No, actually all these what the gay community and the liberal society tell is wrong.

I am here for training and with the hope, all these wrong information, saved in my stupid brain should be removed, wiped out – and the truth should be just and only present in mind. In a way it can’t get removed. And I would like to learn how to serve a straight white man. And do everything as reparation for that lie I lifed for so long.

I am very grateful for every advice or order how to start and what to do in life.

Sorry about my English.