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Orgasms have become something i try to avoid. I don’t think i deserve them, ever. In fact, i try to avoid even becoming hard. That’s not to say that i don’t masturbate. Being the filthy, selfish faggot that i am, i masturbate a lot, for hours at a time. But i do it with a limp appendage. The limpness, along with the small size of my thingy, serve to remind me that i am not a real man. From this knowledge i derive the only kind of sexual stimulation i can have. i have never been capable of any kind of sex with anyone else – i am just too self-centered and immature – and so i have learned to take consolation in knowing my place at the bottom of the hierarchy.
Unlike other faggots here, for me this is not something that i like to do. But it is something i know i have to do because of what i am. Drinking a straight white man’s piss or eating his shit is not at all pleasant for me, in fact it is very unpleasant. I don’t like the taste and especially the gag reflex when chewing and swallowing a real man’s turd. But exactly because of this, it is a pure expression of my place in the world and my inferiority to the man whose waste products i am consuming.
