Straight White Man

@rustiace

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Registered: 5 years, 11 months ago

New to site, not sure what I am exactly, i have a submissive nature, can go far but do not give myself over completly, I need to be used, humiliated often think of fantasy of a guy just passing me to friends or in some other degrading way. Like he would never consider doing this with his own body but would like to see it, so he can use my body to experience it. I like the idea of fisting but never done it, in fact i'm tight, i use dildo but nothing else. I want the guy to claim me, take me, I want to know his cum is inside of me, that I have a piece of him, that i'm never alone, I think of it like medicine, i'm not complete, I need that medicine to feel whole. like it's something I lack. I am not cute, I am obese, I have a small cock and with my weight you can't see it much anyway, I am not dominant and in fact I have never cum with a guy before. One of the fantasies I have of fisting is the guy can force me to cum, just with his fist. i wouldn't be able to control my body. He'd have it completely. I will be honest however, I do not always go to the submissive side, in bed I give up all control and let the guy do as he wants. Yet out of bed I do consider myself equal, a stubborn streak that I've been unable to let go of. not sure I can, it's almost instinctual. Maybe this site might allow me to put that to rest. I am 50 years old as well so as I said i'm totally inferior. I'm disabled although I health is not bad, it's more of a mental problem with PTSD. I do not like myself, I disgust myself and the fact that I tend to have a stubborn streak makes it worse because I know I should not have a right to being treated like an equal, that eventually people will find out I'm a fraud and they will not like me much. In short I have not been broken yet, the spirit is still strong.