Q.

Justaguy writes: I’m a straight guy living in a house in a major city. I have nothing against gays, but I don’t really want to be around them. I’ve known since I moved in here three years ago that my landlord is gay, but except for his constantly checking me out, nothing has happened.

Recently, I was looking at some shit on a bdsm sex site. I like rough sex (which probably explains why I don’t have a steady girlfriend). Anyway, while I was cruising around the site I happened across some gay shit there. That often happens, it’s hard to filter for just straight pics. But this time, I thought I recognized one of the guys, so I looked closer, and sure enough: it was my landlord.

I looked at other posts he had done, and it was clear: it’s him.  This is one sick guy. He likes to have strangers piss and spit in his mouth, he will “suck any hard cock on any man.” He lets guys fuck him in the ass, tie him up, beat him, and he even offers to do chores for guys in exchange for their cum and piss. He says he wants to be “owned property for a straight guy.” He also referenced this site, which is how I ended up here.

I’m 100% sure this is the guy who owns my house! So what do I do?

A.

First, you congratulate yourself on your good luck!

Call the faggot and tell him there is a problem at the house, and he needs to stop by. When he gets there, tell him that you need to talk to him about some work that needs to be done (I’d suggest  new kitchen, painting the bedroom, etc.) and that, for all this, you will need a reduction in your rent.

When he starts to react to this, stand up, and rub your cock through your pants. As you get hard, his objections will stop, and you tell him, “I know what you are, and you’re going to be my faggot slave from now on.” Tell him to strip, and then make him drink your piss and suck your cock.

Once you are done, tell him the rules: you are getting a 50% rent reduction, and he is going be your personal houseboy, cleaning your apartment, doing whatever chores you want, and submitting totally. Tell him if he’s a good faggot, you’ll not only use him yourself, but you’ll let your buddies use his fuckholes too.

If this goes well, you’ll end up owning the house, and he’ll pay the mortgage for you. And you’ll have a willing hole to fuck, any time. What could be better?

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